I’m not counting calories anymore.

I went for a walk and I just had an epiphany: I’m not counting calories anymore. For the past month I’ve been obsessing about my intake, to the point where it’s controlling my life. Why should I be spending my time counting the number of sunflower seeds in a cup so I know how many calories are in one seed? Why should I refuse eating an orange because it has “too many calories”? Why should I starve myself so I can be below my caloric limit only to binge later? Why should I systematically measure and record every single thing I eat while inhibiting my health? It seems unnecessary and causes me so much stress.

I shouldn’t refuse a food because it’ll screw up my caloric plan; I should refuse a food because it’s unhealthy. In fact, I have a feeling that when I stop counting calories, I’ll do eat better. For example, if I had 300 calories left in my intake, I’d give myself permission in indulge in chips, leading to a binge. But why? Chips are unhealthy. If I stop counting, the incentive to refuse the chips would be greater. I can’t measure my health in calories. I’ll refuse the chips because my lifestyle doesn’t account for unhealthy food, rather than my caloric limit. Bottom line-my health is much more of a motivator than a number. 

Instead, I’m going to give intuitive eating a go. I’ll eat when I feel hungry, and stop when I’m full. My diet will stay the same, composed mainly of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and lean meats. Over the summer I lost 5lbs without counting calories. Millions of other people have lost weight without counting calories. Who says I can’t either?

I can’t let this control me. What a lot of people want from losing weight is to gain control. Ironically, I know that if I continue with this, the weight loss is going to control me. I don’t want my obsession to lead to an eating disorder. I’m more than that. I am worth more than my 1000 calorie limit. So much more.